La Mamma

My Mummy is on her way to Italy.

I’m about to see her here at the airport.

We will be reunited for the first time in 18 months and since Francesco died.

Sitting here at the airport I feel a wave of emotion.

To be together after all this time and such a huge loss, it’s been weighing on my mind.

Last time I came to this airport Fran was dropping me off and picking me up from yet another travel trip.

I’d gone to Lisbon with my bestie to see Madonna.

A long-held desire.

He was, as usual, encouraging of my dreams.

“Go have fun babe.”

Taking care of our dogs when I was gone.

On my return, as reliable as ever (he was always on time) there he was waiting for me in the arrivals hall.

How many times I came through those doors from all parts of the world, “home to my boys” as I called them, and Fran there waiting.

Big smile.

Fran gave me the freedom to explore the world and see and be, even without him by my side.

Perhaps unconsciously preparing for what was to come?

A life without him.

That wasn’t written in our plan.

Now as I sit here waiting for my mum I feel all sorts of emotion.

I know he’s with me.

I can’t help feel envious of the couple sitting in front of me.

Italian and English, I think….

Kind of checked out or disconnected from each other but in a loving sort of way where you think you’ll always have each other and it’s just another day.

But then life can change and love can transform in the space of any day.

I’d give anything to switch places with them.

To be sitting there peacefully checked out with Francesco by my side.

He’d be on his phone and I’d be people watching as all the travelers, destined for new places, rushed by.

So today is a big today as I await my mother and finally, finally, have one of my own family by my side. ❤️