The Gift

Today’s been very painful.

My mood, like the weather, dropped.

It is here I meet my loss more deeply. The beauty is I’m not afraid.

I notice that my tears tend to roll down one cheek, if I’m lying down, they roll across the bridge of my nose.

I don’t think I’ve cried like this since I was a child.

It’s not that my connection with Fran is gone it’s just the loss of physical and what could have been….

“I’ve freed you forward,” I hear him say.

It’s true…there’s much I’ll be able to pursue differently now.

Much I was happy to “sacrifice” to be with him instead.

But that doesn’t make up for the loss, at least not in this moment.

I know I’ll look back one day and wonder

How did you do it?

How did you get through that Grace?

A young woman facing the death of her love whilst experiencing lockdown unable to get home or see her family.

But then we just do.

Many are facing far worse too.

We don’t know what we’re really made of until we’re faced with it.

Our true nature, that Spiritual force lies dormant or at least quiet, until the unthinkable strikes.

Suddenly we KNOW who we are.

How much bigger we are than the insecurities that plague our life.

This is what I’m taking as the gift from my beloved’s death, this deeper connection to the truth of who we are at core.

Resilient.

Big.

Abundant.

Love.

I hope this helps you today.

I never quite know what I’m going to say.