The Engagement

I’m remembering the time Francesco proposed.

I’d been to Devon on retreat a few months earlier learning about the principles that guide life.

My mind got quiet and I called him & said, "Babe I’m having such a nice time I might stay a couple more days.”

He was happy for me, even offered to pay so I could move to a prettier accommodation, a place called Dartington Hall.

It was during my time there, retreating alone that I realised a few things about myself, one of the major ones being that I truly wanted to marry Francesco!

This was a big change for me because in the years prior to this I had a lot of hesitation about marriage.

About everything really.

I kept swinging on where I should be in the world, what I should be and if this really was the “right” man for me.

Yet there in the quiet it was so clear to me that YES I wanted to marry this man!

So on return from Devon I let Francesco know that whenever he felt like it I was now ready and already planning our wedding in my mind.

He beamed. 💖

A few months later he’d borrowed the keys of our friend, Bobbie Read, who had an apartment in Ostuni.

Bobbie was away in LA.

She had the most amazing view of the whole White City of Ostuni and when Francesco invited me to go with him to her terrace I was a bit confused, I thought we were going out for dinner but I went along anyway.

There on the terrace was a beautiful candlelit table.

Ostuni lit up in all her glory too, with the moorish mosaics of the cathedral roof tops glistening in the deep Puglian sun, which was now going down.

I thought Fran was just being romantic to invite me here, I complimented him on his efforts.

We had some delicious food and wine listening to music, talking about life and then he shocked me as he got down on one knee, literally (I hope all men still do this) and proposed with that incredible ring!

I remember the feeling of DEEP PEACE that came over me. 💗

Not elation, not excitement, pure peace. 💗

I’ll never forget it. 💗

All my former doubts were put to bed in that moment as I felt the truth of our love and next step as a couple.

We sat quietly on Bobbie’s two-seater swing, going back and forth like little kids, both beaming with happiness.

(I was especially pleased that the ring was this good!)

I still feel that level of peace when I’m connecting with him.

I recognize Francesco’s love and answers to my questions in that feeling of peace.

Some couples might think deep peace together isn’t enough, that unless there’s fireworks and big demonstrations of love there’s no real point in carrying on.

I invite you to measure your love another way, based on the feeling of peace or well-being you drop into as a couple especially when the distractions are gone.

It was a feeling of peace the moment I sat next to Francesco on the airplane.

It was a feeling of peace the moment he proposed.

It is a feeling of peace when I think of him now even though he’s left this physical plane.

I wish you all these feelings of peace, a peace that surpasses all understanding, because in fact it can’t be understood, nor can love, it can only be felt and experienced.

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Freedom to Fuck Up