Remembering Wakes in Ireland

Francesco would have liked a Wake.

A Wake (in Ireland) being a vigil, staying next to the person who died.

Remembering their life.

People visiting the house, paying their respects, telling stories of the deceased, somehow keeping them alive.

When the Irish emigrated to America they even held an “American Wake."

A bit of a party to see you off but always vigilant or respectful to the fact you were leaving or having to leave your homeland.

A death in itself, even if it promised richer lands.

The beauty of a Wake in my country is that you celebrate the life of the deceased.

You come together to say goodbye.

I can remember many a Wake I attended.

There lay the deceased looking peaceful in a new suit whilst friends and family came together to pay their respects.

When my Granda died I remember my uncles calling on me for extra gin at his Wake.

They sat drowning their sorrows over Gunpowder or Gordon’s telling stories remembering the best of their Father.

Francesco thought this was the coolest thing.

Later the guitars came out and people clapped and sang and paid tribute to my Granda through song.

Fran couldn't believe the “party” atmosphere, so different to the Italian way.

But Francesco died young, unexpectedly and during Covid in his home country of Italy.

Not ideal for a celebration.

A Wake was out of the question but I know he would have liked one.

Yesterday I met a friend who had attended his funeral, he didn't know Fran so well but he showed up anyway and I felt grateful.

I felt grateful for his honouring my beloved during such a strange time in history.

And yet I wish we had been able to have a Wake for Fran.

For that was him.

Enjoyment, laughter, fun and lightheartedness to the end.

I remember one friend at his funeral and she said, “Even in his death he is bringing us all together again."

That is what he was good at: celebration, life, community, connection and that is what we will continue to remember him for to the very end.

♥️