Love Is a Deep Knowing
Things I knew for sure when my Francesco died....
1) Only LOVE is real.
The feeling of love that enveloped me from the moment I found Francesco to all the weeks that followed, how that love uplifted and supported me leaves no doubt in my mind that only love is real and only love remains. Love is who we are, where we come from and what we go back to.
2) All is forgiven.
I knew in my heart there was no point blaming anyone for the wrongs they had done. All was forgiven by Fran. Whilst part of me was frustrated with how he had been treated in his physical life (always the good guy and taken advantage of), I knew it was all perfect.
All was forgiven in his death and that feeling helped me forgive them too.
3) I am deeply loved.
Throughout our relationship I’d questioned love. Was this the “right” relationship for me?
In Fran’s death I saw the absolute love we had together.
The feeling of love we lived in, most of the time.
Maybe not the feeling the world could see when we showed up but the feeling we knew to be us.
The heart-to-heart hugs each morning, he said it was the only way to start the day, to the way we prioritized each other's values.
All my doubts fell away and I saw how deep our love truly was.
4) In Fran’s passing, I realised that I could use my memories to hurt myself or to help myself.
When I’d fall into grief and even blame myself for being a bad girlfriend, I’d remember this insight, that this was the place I had choice.
To keep using thought to hurt or to help.
Overtime I got intolerant to feeling bad about the loss and about myself, and I began to choose memory as a form of help.
In doing so I got better and our connection grew stronger.
5) Fran is totally accessible.
I discovered and keep discovering just how alive Fran is from the place he now stands, or rather, rides his bike. 🤣 That was his favourite. Anytime I call on him for anything, my requests are met. Now my colleagues and some of my clients even do the same! Whether it’s support with tech or a speedy passport renewal or help with an animal he’s ready to help.
6) A new love.
Fran sent me a new love and quite soon after returning to Ostuni. I absolutely knew this was the right man for me by how he showed up, took care of everything and would message me or send me songs at exact moments when my mood had dropped back into grief. It was like Fran was talking to him. He got rid of all the others and worked through this guy who I now enjoy and am still with.
7) The number 444 is how Francesco winks at me.
He was born 4th of August but when he died this number showed up everywhere. Funeral costs 4440,00 as an example.
I would see 444 in so many places and I came to see it was him. Four is the number of stability. Of course!
Yesterday I was feeling low and calling on him, I spotted a number plate 444 then just to be sure I got the message a car pulled out in front of me with 444 on their number plate too!
Our loved ones communicate through numbers, songs, colours, dreams, electronics and so much more.
Hope this helps you today.❤️